It’s still half term, and time to reflect upon where we are in life. The kids are doing super well, and I am – as always – 100 percent proud of them and their accomplishments. Every piece of work, every new skill mastered, every single moment where they demonstrate that they are learning and growing and being happy little people, to the best of their aptitudes and abilities
For me, life can be more challenging. All those dull, grown up cares. The worry about where my life is taking me, the sacrifices that need to be made, and the uncertainty over the future. It is slightly exacerbated by the choice to homeschool my beautiful babies. It means my career options are limited, finding a job outside the home would require costly childcare, and I feel increasingly adrift as I ponder whether I have other feasible options.
We recently made cupcakes, complete with swirls of buttercream frosting and haphazard sugar decorations. It was, apparently, the highlight of my children’s week! In some ways I feel both blessed and rather guilty. When did we, grown ups, lose sight of the simple things in life? When did I start feeling so old and broken?
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with golden lacquer. The philosophy, as I understand it, is that a broken item can be mended and become even more beautiful – while respecting the past and not hiding the problems. While I chase the dream of a paying gig, I want to kintsugi my life. I want to emerge stronger, more beautiful, and better reflect the pure light of my children – who are the centre of my world. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know exactly what my next steps will be. (My current goals are simply to sleep more soundly, gain a more positive mindset, and to sell at least one item in my TpT store.) Wish me luck! If nothing else, wish us more cupcakes. If my kids are happy, that’s what matters most to me.